the wonderful world of veena.

20 April 2012

finding the positive.

This has been one of those weeks. You know the ones I speak of. Those weeks where you're constantly in motion and yet feel as though you're not accomplishing anything. Where you feel like the world's a bit upside down and turned around. Where you can't quite seem to catch your breath long enough to fill your lungs full of air.

Weeks like this make me want to wallow in self-pity and do nothing but complain. Complain about how I need more sleep. Complain about how Thursday was the first day all week I was able to cook myself dinner at eat at home at a normal time. Complain about the number of upcoming assignments I have due. Complain about how, even though we jumped forward an hour and it stays light longer, I still don't manage to make it home before dark. Complain about how I've not had time to run in ages. Complain about all the things I'd rather be doing in Little Rock instead of work.  Complain complain complain.

But then I remember.

I remember that I have so many things to be thankful for. I am in a program at a presidential school, learning skills that will help me in my chosen career path. I have the opportunity this summer to travel to a new country and work with an amazing organization. I have a network of people, both here and abroad, who support me wholeheartedly in the decisions I make. I have a wonderful life; I just need to remember to look around and appreciate it more often.

I remember all the children I've worked with over the years. My kids in Jamaica who are the reason I became passionate about international service in the first place. My boys in Bangalore who kept me laughing, frustrated, and on the verge of insanity, but whom I love dearly, every last one of them. I remember that these kids, and so many more like them around the world, are the reason I am doing what I am doing.

I remember that in the grand scheme of things, my problems are trivial. I know I will get through these next 3 weeks, someway, somehow. I know my classmates and I will make it to the end of the semester, we will all have amazing experiences at our projects this summer, and we will come out as better people at the end of it.

I remember that in 40-odd days, I will be back home, roaming the streets of Bangalore with Shonali, teaching the Peanut funny things that will annoy her mother, and catching up with all of my adopted families.

I remember that things aren't always as bad as they seem, even if complaining seems easier. And that sometimes I need weeks like these, if only to remind me how good I have it.

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