the wonderful world of veena.

17 September 2013

an open letter to memphis drivers.

Let me preface this post by saying that I by no means profess to be a perfect driver. I know I have my own faults while driving, and I sometimes get overly impatient with bad driving, but I can definitely say I'm a better - and safer - driver than at least 80% of the other people on the road in Memphis.

So without further ado, my open letter to my fellow drivers in Memphis:

Dear fellow Memphis drivers,

I feel it is my civic duty to bring to your attention many of the simple rules of driving that you seem to have forgotten [or perhaps never learned in the first place]. Having taken my original driving test in Arkansas, I do not know what the requirements are for obtaining a license in Memphis, but I'm pretty sure those standards need to be raised. I've known for many years that Memphis drivers are some of the worst I've ever encountered, but I feel it's become worse in recent years. Please find below some simple guidelines that may help you on the roads and prevent you from causing rage amongst your fellow patrons of the road.

1. The rules of a 4-way stop are very simple. The first thing to remember is that you must come to a full stop. The second is to always know who has the right of way. Just because you came to that full stop doesn't mean you get to immediately go again. The debacle that occurs every day at Trinity and Walnut Bend needs to be taken care of. Soon. [and honking at me because I actually came to that full stop is not going to make me move any faster]

2. Always signal your intention to change lanes. Those fancy blinker lights are not just there for decoration.

3. You are not coordinated enough or a good enough driver to text / talk and drive. So please stop. If it's that urgent, pull over into a parking lot and respond / speak before carrying on with your day. And please stop swerving into my lane because you're trying to multitask.

4. Your head lights and tail lights serve a purpose. Please use them. Particularly when it's raining. And please learn when it is appropriate to use your bright lights and when it is not. My eyes thank you for your consideration.

5. If you insist on following that closely, I'm probably going to go slower just to piss you off. Keep a safe distance.

6. When it is clearly marked that your lane is going to end, and you zoom off to get ahead before you cut over, I'm definitely not letting you into my lane. On a similar note, if you are in the right lane and are planning on turning left, don't wait until the last minute and then cut across traffic to make your turn. It's dangerous, it messes up the flow of traffic, and it generally means you're an asshole.

7. Don't speed through residential neighbourhoods. It's in poor taste.

8. Please pay attention to posted speed limits. On Germantown Parkway, for example, the speed limit is 50. Not 25, not 35, but 50. Learn to keep up with the flow of traffic, or get off the road.

9. Learn the rules of merging. It's really not rocket science, I swear.

10. Slower vehicles - particularly on Walnut Grove by Shelby Farms - drive on the RIGHT.

If we can all agree to follow these guidelines on the road, perhaps we can learn to coexist somewhat peacefully together. And who knows, we might all learn to enjoy driving once again.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

A Concerned Citizen

I figured it was either this or just run over someone outright on Germantown Parkway or Walnut Grove. This seemed like a better option.
woo pig.

[a lot of what I learned through the writing of this post is that I hate east Memphis drivers and need to move back to Midtown...]

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