the wonderful world of veena.

18 December 2012

"is your heart really in it?"

The other night a good friend and I were generally chatting about a multitude of things, and eventually our conversation turned to work and the work-life balance. After a few minutes, he finally asked me about the work I am doing here in Bombay and said, "Honestly, is your heart really in it?" We had been discussing the craziness of the previous few weeks, and his question stumped me.

Is my heart really in it?

My gut reaction is to say, "Yes, obviously my heart is in the work that I'm doing." But then I sat for a minute and processed the question and had to admit, both to him and to myself, that it really hasn't been. That's not to say that I've not been doing my work, because I have. I believe very deeply in following through on work once I've given my word. But have I maybe slacked a bit here and there and not been as productive as I could have been? And to that I have to answer a resounding yes. Part of it is that I don't have regular work hours at the moment; part of it is that I didn't have my own place until last night [couch-surfing for 4 weeks, while enjoyable, is extremely exhausting]; and part of it is that I got swept up by the city and all it has to offer, by the multitude of friends to meet and catch up with, and by the number of people who have been in and out of town since I arrived 4 weeks ago.

So I decided to re-evaluate a few things and to re-prioritize my time. I came to Bombay to work on a project and to gain experience with an organization here, and while having friends in town and having so many things to do has been great, it's also been a distraction from why I'm really here. Now that I finally have a house and my work is picking up, hopefully all the rest will fall into place. Even though I can generally set my own working hours, I want to complete my work before 6pm whenever possible so that I don't end up working until 11pm like I did one night last week. Essentially, the slacking stops now.

And yes, I realize this is easier said than done. But I have to start somewhere.
Wish me luck.

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